When is it okay to smile and
enjoy life? As soon as we can. This is my true belief. For some of us it takes
a very long time, and for me it didn't come to stay. It comes and goes still,
after many long years. I know in my heart that my husband and daughter would
both want me to live life to the fullest and enjoy each day.
There's always an emptiness, and
always a regret that my daughter is not here to enjoy life with me. I wish she
were physically here. I do believe she is with me in spirit. I truly believe
that she has encouraged me many times to keep going, and to make the right
choices, and do the next right thing in my life, especially when it was a
difficult time.
I visualize her being free and
happy, and somehow I think that when I am sad I will be making her sad. I think
she is happy when I am happy, because we are so much a part of each other, and
our love always will exist. Her death didn't change that at all.
When I'm not happy, or not
enjoying life, sometimes I use the saying, "Fake it til you make it."
and joy will somehow return.
What is joy to me? Joy is not the
absence of pain. Rather, joy is the presence of God in my life. When God is
"in" my life, and I have surrendered all that I am to Him and His
will for the day, then joy is the result. It isn't necessarily laughter and
giggles. But, it is an inner knowing and a peace that passes understanding.
God bless us all.
Mary Jane Menke